So it has been a minute since I last wrote a journal post. This is because I did not feel my topic yet. Now I do. 

I started a new job working with kids in January. While I love working with kids I did not feel my heart was in it there. 

I still don’t exactly know what has been going on. But I found myself experiencing a loss of words, like I would see the picture in my mind but I could not find the word for it (a word as simple as a bench in my native language). I have only known this phenomena during my pregnancy and then recovering from my pregnancy and the loss of our baby. 

Alongside the forgetting of words I also lost my focus and overview of things to do. It sort of feels like I am in a constant state of overwhelm energeticaly, feeling drained or at least low on energy. I believe that the cause of this state of overwhelm is a conflicting energy dynamic with a co-worker, the Led lighting and the energy in the building itself and well general cosmic energies.

I do feel I was in the right place at the right time because I had to have this experience to become wiser. Though I haven’t fully received/understood what it has brought me yet. I have not fully integrated the lesson yet. 

I also feel that the decision to leave now is the right call too.

I shared my news on thursday and saturday I send my resignation letter. The day I send that resignation letter a new door opens up. A conversation between a woman my partner knows, myself and my partner takes place. A conversation about a possible co-creation working with children. This woman has already worked on several spiritual, creative and educational projects that seem to be all up my alley. So it seems to be quite a match. You hear me say seems to be, as I have not yet met her in person and well the proof is often in the pudding. In any case I am very curious to see what will enfold and also how quickly this new door opened up seems like such a good sign.

To be continued…..